How do you manage stress? I cry at FedEx...

Have you ever had a moment when you have a very public (and embarrassing) meltdown and you have NO idea where it came from? Even if you haven't, I hope that you will at least nod your head in a very apologetic and sincere way so that I feel I'm not alone... I apologize in advance for the probably lengthy post this will turn into.

It happened to me... yesterday... in FedEx. I feel terrible for the woman behind the counter who had to put up with this humiliating moment in my life - but in all fairness, she started it. What took me over the edge was packing peanuts. I know it doesn't seem like those innocent packing pieces should create such a problem... but they are the catalyst which made me sob, yell, and just overall have a breakdown at my local FedEx. It went a little something like this..

I walked into the FedEx at 6:15 with my box fully packed, with my FedEx label affixed to the top - all by the book. Pick up for next day delivery is at 7pm, and I had to meet Jennifer at 6:35 to get a ride to our hair appointment. Apparently the box I was using (a supply shipping box that FedEx actually uses to ship their supplies??) was not allowed -- even though I had seen the FedEx label to the person who originally had this box because I had covered it up so as to not confuse the FedEx delivery truck with 2 delivery labels.... Following so far - it's confusing, I know. I apparently used the wrong box - even though it had been used to ship something at some point in time... To give you a general idea of what happened - I'll supply an abbreviated version of our conversation...

I wanted to send the package, it was the wrong box. What happened next was a drawn out conversation (this word is used loosely, it was really me ranting and crying) about how I should have come downstairs to buy a new box (but I didn't know this box wouldn't work)... what the account number was (I had a pre-printed FedEx slip, shouldn't it be on there somewhere?? Isn't it her job to find that out for me?).... not finding the account so me volunteering to buy a box, repack my items, and be reimbursed by my company... That's when the trouble started.

I was informed that in order to package my reports I had to buy packing peanuts. Up to this point, I was just annoyed, when she said it was policy that I buy packing peanuts if I was going to repack my box but I wasn't wanting packing peanuts... that's when I lost it. I went over to the boxes, started pulling them up and throwing them down because they weren't big enough, all the while yelling "This is so frustrating!!! I don't want packing peanuts!!! I just want to mail my reports!! They are paper reports and they can't be damaged!!" All the while she's telling me it's policy and that it's required to have packing peanuts... Then I said, "well the box that's in front of you doesn't have packing peanuts inside, does that mean you can't mail it because I told you that??!!" She didn't think that was very nice... Eventually she did find my account number, while I had my head in my hands on the desk, sobbing uncontrollably, and apologizing and saying that I wasn't actually mad at her.... And then I ran out of the FedEx once she said she would take care of it and it would be delivered tomorrow....

Moral of the story? Don't ever talk to me about packing peanuts....

Why did I have a breakdown at FedEx you ask? I have absolutely no idea. I mean, the woman wasn't very pleasant in the beginning (only after I started sobbing and apologizing for yelling did she finally show any sort of compassion or understanding)... so I was definitely frustrated... but mainly? I have absolutely no idea...

A number of things (good, and overwhelming) have happened over the last few days, so I could probably use some of those things as an excuse... I haven't been feeling well since last Sunday, subsequently I've had horrible dreams (nightmares ranging from creepy people to waking up hours late for work and freaking out - this one happened about 3 times last night alone).... Frenchy and Lisa (while ok) just survived a horrible earthquake in Christchurch. I thought it was fine, but I started looking more into it, hearing their stories of how their house is completely split in two and they've lost almost everything, how Lisa is stuck on the North Island because she was trying to get home and her plane was diverted.. and it's so overwhelming to think how any of those people who didn't survive could have been them.

My boss has told me that while I shouldn't worry "hard" about my job, I should worry "appropriately" - which I don't know what that actually means. It means that for now I still have work to do I guess.. But I really hope it also means that we get some of this work to finally trickle down so that I can stay billable and busy.

I'm totally stressing about the Sheebs. I love her.. and I don't want to give her back - ever. But we really aren't equipped to own a dog. It's stressful to us, I'm sure it's stressful to her, and it's so hard to completely change our lives. We aren't really used to coming home right after work, or not being able to do certain things because we either can't take Sheebs with us or we can't leave her alone. Our house is covered in dog hair and I have lost countless shirts to her obsession with my deodorant (which makes her chew out the armpits of my shirts... it's awesome). But I still do love her. :) I just know that she can also probably find a family that doesn't live in a neighborhood that is swarming with dogs, that doesn't have to leave her in her crate for 10+ hours a day, and that can really just do a better job that we can. I know she loves us, but she loves everyone, so I really hope that she can find a family she can love more!! (So if you know of anyone that wants a wonderful dog????? We would really like to be able to deliver her straight to her adoptive family without a stop at the shelter) I've been putting off emailing the woman at PAWS for a month now because I just don't have the heart to tell her that Sheebs once again is going to have to move to another home... :(

On the good side, I have some fun news. John's parents were lucky enough to win 2 round trip tickets and 3 night stay to anywhere in Europe. This means that they have decided to extend those 3 nights and make a 2 week vacation of Europe and have invited all of us to join them! So, we are in the throws of planning a 2 week vacation to Europe in September for all 6 of us. It's super exciting. I just got my new passport back yesterday in the mail. It's a little weird looking, but it's great to have it back! (Hopefully John's gets here soon since I did mail them on the same day...hmmm) Right now the plan is London, Paris, Tuscany (Florence, various small towns), Rome, Venice, and Dublin.... It's going to be a full trip for sure.

So maybe it's all of those things.. Maybe it's just a random week that had a lot of stress that I didn't realize it.. But I wish I could have realized it, as I could have avoided the complete mortification of yelling, sobbing, and blubbering just trying to mail a box at FedEx. Worst part was? I didn't even care that much if it was delivered or not. It wasn't a deadline, it wasn't life or death - it was just me not wanting to carry it back to my office because it was 11 copies of a report that was really heavy, and because I had committed myself to mailing it yesterday... Ha... Oh well, we all need a moment to reset ourselves, right?

I guess that's my story - sorry it took so long. I should probably write more often so that I don't create these novellas... I do have some fun posts coming with pictures of our new shelves and hopefully some other fun pictures and house things.

Ohh - and it's John's birthday tomorrow!!! he's going to be 28 and we're going to see Les Miserables downtown on Sunday. I'm really excited!!