Unprepared

I feel as though I'm completely unprepared for this birth experience that's supposed to happen give or take 6 weeks from now.  I'm not usually a "prepared" type of person, so it's not exceedingly abnormal for me to feel like I'm "winging it".  But I'm starting to doubt that this is the time to just see what happens.  Ha.  

Three instances in the last couple of days have begun to make me realize that maybe, just maybe, I should actually study up on this shiznit.  My "women have been doing this for thousands of years" philosophy seems to be losing steam.  

First instance, my pilates instructor (also a doula) talking about how important it is to just understand the birthing process, etc so that you are more calm about it and prepared for what's happening -- because as she says, fear leads to stress, which leads to anxiety, which leads to pain.  I totally botched that, but it's along those lines.  Essentially, fear = pain.  If I'm more relaxed and calm, I could have less pain.  I'm all for that.  This instance ALSO made me wonder if I should think about a doula... she made it sound awesome.  But that's another expense that I would rather not have.

Second instance, all my little email reminders that I'm getting are talking about my bag for the hospital and my "birth plan".  Ohhhh.... birth plan.  I've heard of these before -- they are like a map for what you hope to happen through your birth and provides instructions for people around you when you're going psycho or something and your brain isn't working while trying to squeeze a baby out.  The problem is, I have NO idea what I want my birth plan to be.  Uhhh.. I kind of assumed that doctor's were supposed to tell me what I was supposed to do, but I can see the benefits of it - especially once I've done a quick google search and seen all the options of what birthing can mean.  It makes sense to have ideas of what you want and some guidelines to follow (like not letting strangers come randomly into the room while you're exposing all the parts that I was under the impression shouldn't be shown to strangers)... but goodness, I have NO idea.  I would just like to write "go to hospital, have baby with no pain, walk out happy with cute baby that doesn't cry".  Is that an option for a birth plan???  I think it's probably not, so I'll have to work on that.

Third instance, talking with a woman last night at a brewery for Marla's birthday.  She was talking about her baby, and asked me if he was head down.  She apparently had to go in for aversion with her doctor to try and get her baby to be head down, and from what she said it was incredibly painful.  I had to just kind of stare at her blankly and say "umm.. I don't know... when I saw him 12 weeks ago he was breech".  I'm guessing at some point the doctor will talk with me about it and feel around my belly to see what this guy is doing, but I haven't asked (never occurred to me), and she hasn't said.... and I realize I still have some time for Chalupa Batman to really get into his full downward and locked position, but maybe I should start wondering or at least asking?  

So, I think in the next few weeks, I should probably get some answers... get some ideas... get some reading in about how all of this goes down.  I don't want fear to equal pain... and while I don't feel fear right now, I also feel a strange sense of "I have forever until he gets here so I don't need to worry about it yet", that is slowly ticking off the clock.  

I'm now taking suggestions on birth, birth plans, anything really.  Similar to my questions on registering -- don't be surprised if my birth plan is a near carbon copy --- I like to do that.  It's not my fault that my friends are such wonderful planners and have such great ideas that I can piggyback on!