That wasn't in the book

So, I guess it's a little misleading as I didn't so much "read" a book about babies or parenting, or anything really.  But there are so many things that I never knew, wasn't prepared for, kind of wish I had known.  I'm sure I'm just scratching the surface since we are only just shy of 18 months in, and so we are still learning.  Here's what we've learned so far:

• You will be peed on, vomited on, and pooped on.. sometimes all within a few hours of each other, or sometimes all at once
• You will live with a constant layer of crushed crackers on your floor - no matter how often you vacuum
• You will take him exactly where he points and wants to go - and he will still be unhappy when you get there
• There will be unidentifiable stains on your couch - that you don't know how they got there or when
• You will rearrange your living room to make it a better play space, even if it makes it a worse adult space
• Kids are seriously attracted to everything that they aren't supposed to touch - how do they even KNOW that?
• You will co sleep at some point in your child's life (or maybe that's just me)
• Sleeping through the night really only means 5 hrs in a row - and you'll still wish you could get 5 hrs
• You will feel like you are the only one with a crazy kid - and that everyone else must have perfect angels... or then begin to feel like everyone else must be lying (and begin secretly hoping they are)
• It is so incredibly overwhelming, frustrating, and exhausting... but then it turns hilarious, heartwarming, and perfect with the snap of a finger
• You will wonder how on earth he managed to learn "Elmo, Ernie, Burt" and manage to say them on repeat for hours when you have never even watched a show
• You will worry about every milestone (is he going to hit it?  did he miss it?  is everything okay?)
• There will be a moment in time that you freak out and research autism and compare everything your kid does to see if he has symptoms
• You will think you had kids way too early, but know that if you had waited you wouldn't have ended up with the wonderful kid you have now - and you are grateful
• You will be excited to wean - but force feed your child to get a few extra minutes of precious sleep in the morning

Anything I've forgotten?  I know there are plenty in my life - but I've been compiling this list for a while and this is as far as I've gotten...

What a crazy thing parenting is - if I had known everything I don't know that I would have chosen so willingly to become a mom - so I guess that's why everyone keeps it a secret.  In the end, the craziness is outweighed completely by the rewards when he smiles, when he sees you and just wants to be in your arms at the end of the day, and how he wakes up in the morning (even if you hate how early it is) talking and saying "mama... dada...mama...dada" until you come in to get him.